Redefining Rest: What Recovery Looks Like for ADHD Minds
Do you constantly overcompensate, push yourself to exhaustion, and struggle to slow down? If so, this episode is for you.
This week, I’m joined by Meredith Carder, ADHD coach and author of It All Makes Sense Now, to discuss why so many women with ADHD fall into patterns of burnout, perfectionism, and self-doubt—and, more importantly, how to break free.
Meredith shares her personal ADHD journey, how she rebuilt self-trust after years of masking, and why redefining rest is essential for managing ADHD effectively. If you’ve ever felt like you’re constantly doing too much yet never doing enough, this conversation will help you reframe your mindset, embrace your neurodivergent brain, and find self-compassion along the way.
What You’ll Learn:
✨ Why women with ADHD often overcompensate and experience burnout
✨ How to redefine rest so it actually works for your ADHD brain
✨ The importance of self-trust and self-compassion in managing ADHD symptoms
✨ How ADHD impacts career paths and the need to create a work-life balance that supports your wellbeing
✨ Why early diagnosis and education can empower individuals with ADHD in both personal and professional life
Timestamps:
🕒 09:40 - Understanding ADHD and productivity
🕒 19:17 - Redefining rest for ADHD
🕒 24:11 - Rebuilding self-trust in neurodivergent Individuals
🕒 26:49 - Understanding ADHD and its impact on career paths
🕒 37:25 - Embracing ADHD awareness and acceptance
If you’re tired of pushing through burnout and want to embrace your ADHD in a way that supports your wellbeing, this episode is packed with valuable insights and practical strategies to help you move forward with more ease.
Ready to swap burnout and overwhelm for balance and ease this spring? Join me for breakthrough ADHD Wellbeing Workshops and step into unstoppable self-acceptance!
https://adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk/adhd-womens-wellbeing-series
Find Kate's popular online workshops and free resources here.
Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed ADHD women find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity and clarity.
Follow the podcast on Instagram.
Connect with Meredith Carder:
- Instagram: @hummingbird_ADHD
- Website: https://meredithcarder.com/
- Book: It All Makes Sense Now
Mentioned in this episode:
Transcript
Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.
Speaker A:I'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EFT practitioner, mum to four kids, and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.
Speaker A:After speaking to many women just like me and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with adhd.
Speaker A:In these conversations, you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings, and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on your ADHD journey.
Speaker A:Here's today's episode.
Speaker A:I'm here today with an amazing ADHD coach, creator and writer.
Speaker A:Her name is Meredith Carder and Meredith holds a BS in Psychology and MBA.
Speaker A:And as a true multi passionate adult with ADHD, Meredith has gained varied experience over the last 20 years working in employee training and development, as well as tackling several small businesses.
Speaker A:Meredith prides herself in her ability to hold a supportive space for her clients and facilitate lasting connections in her community for ADHD adults.
Speaker A:Hummingbird Live and I know you've got a fantastic Instagram account as well.
Speaker A:Well, called Hummingbird adhd.
Speaker A:Her recent book is called It All Makes Sense now and seeks to both validate the challenges that exist with ADHD and provide empowering strategies for personal growth.
Speaker A:I have the book and it does exactly that.
Speaker A:It's called It All Makes Sense Now.
Speaker A:Embrace your ADHD brain to live a creative and colorful life.
Speaker A:So thank you so much, Meredith, for joining me.
Speaker A:I'm so excited to talk to you.
Speaker A:We've got a great conversation coming up.
Speaker A:Welcome to the podcast.
Speaker B:Well, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker A:So you have written this fantastic book and I'm so impressed because it kind of tackles lots of really interesting topics and concepts and really delves into the many unique ways that ADHD shows up.
Speaker A:But I'd love to just find out a little bit about your personal story.
Speaker A:When did you realize that you had adhd and I guess, how did it manifest for you?
Speaker B:Well, I realized I had ADHD very shortly after my daughter's ADHD diagnosis.
Speaker B:Actually, probably the signs were showing up during that process, filling out that diagnostic paperwork and doing the interviews.
Speaker B:All of a sudden I was realizing a lot of the things she was struggling with were things that I had struggled with my whole life.
Speaker B:I didn't have a very wide lens of what ADHD looked like at the time.
Speaker B:So I did had to dig.
Speaker B:I did have to dig a little Deeper to understand how some of those symptoms that show up for children, like hyperactivity, show up differently and in girls and women and how they were continuing to impact me.
Speaker B:So I really had dived into a lot of reading and learning after she was diagnosed.
Speaker B:And that's when I started to really realize that it was me too.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think so many people, especially myself, can relate to all of that.
Speaker A:How long ago was that?
Speaker B:Gosh, time is hard.
Speaker B:It was before the pandemic.
Speaker B: I want to say: Speaker B: my official diagnosis around: Speaker B:I definitely stayed in that exploration phase for a while.
Speaker B:I asked myself a lot of questions, like, worth getting diagnosed.
Speaker B:But I did decide to, you know, pursue that official diagnosis a few years later.
Speaker A:And then from what I'm gathering, you kind of pivoted what you were doing career wise and, yeah, I guess used all your experience in, I guess, how you were presenting in your career and then started helping people with adhd.
Speaker A:Is that right?
Speaker B:Yeah, I actually had taken my first class in the coaching program I ended up completing, really just to understand ADHD better.
Speaker B:I was having a really hard time connecting, connecting to a lot of books that were out there at the time.
Speaker B:This was before Instagram had really, you know, taken off.
Speaker B:This was pre pandemic.
Speaker B:And I found a Intro to ADHD course through a coaching program that you can take kind of like standalone as a prerequisite.
Speaker B:And I took that and that is when I really realized that ADHD coaching was even a thing.
Speaker B:I hadn't even heard of it.
Speaker B:And through that program, I started working with coaches on my own and saw the power in that modality and realized I had a lot of transferable skills in what I was doing in the corporate world.
Speaker B:So it made a lot of sense to move into something that I felt could really help a lot of people.
Speaker A:Amazing.
Speaker A:And you've.
Speaker A:I mean, what you've created with your community and what you've done on your Instagram platform is incredible.
Speaker A:And I can see how connected people are to.
Speaker A:To how you talk about ADHD and I guess how validating so many of the conversations that you're having online are, but also the tools and the strategies to help, and I can see this is now sort of naturally progressed into.
Speaker A:Into the book.
Speaker A:How did you find, you know, writing the book?
Speaker A:And guess how long did it take you?
Speaker B:Oh, gosh, it is a long and complicated story, but when I received my contract with my book and one of the first questions my editor asked me was how long do you want to write the book?
Speaker B:And I said three months.
Speaker B:And she thought that was absurd because typically people take six to eight months after signing a contract.
Speaker B:But I knew with my ADHD brain that I needed a deadline and if they told me six months, it would probably take me three months to get started.
Speaker B:But yeah, I wrote it in about three months.
Speaker B:That doesn't include all of the editing and all of the passes through that you do later on, you know, and for context, you know, I had a whole outline, a whole proposal already written, so I wasn't starting completely from scratch.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But yeah, it was, that part went pretty quickly.
Speaker B:I enjoyed it so much, but it was also so hard at the same time.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, I think what you're maybe highlighting is how our brains work so well under pressure and under deadline and that sort of almost like adrenaline cortisol fueled way.
Speaker A:Because I think you probably knew yourself better than the editors did that you were like, if you give me six months, I'm going to do in three months anyway, so I might as well do what I can do in those three months.
Speaker A:And I get asked a lot, you know, by a lot of people like, oh my God, I'd love to write a book but I'm worried about my adhd.
Speaker A:I'm worried that it's going to block me, I'm going to self sabotage, I'm not going to be able to transfer what I know is in my brain onto paper.
Speaker A:And I wondered if you had those moments where it did feel really difficult because of your adhd.
Speaker B:Yeah, there were definitely days when the words just flew out of my brain and it felt really easy and I really enjoyed the creative process.
Speaker B:But then there were days where I felt like I had an outline, I had a topic I was going to talk about in a chapter and all of a sudden I was like, I feel like I know nothing about this.
Speaker B:And I knew I knew things.
Speaker B:But yes, sometimes our ADHD really can feel paralyzing.
Speaker B:I usually in those moments would.
Speaker B:I gave myself a word count goal for each writing session.
Speaker B:It wasn't lot of words, but it was a doable amount.
Speaker B:So I told myself just, just get to that word count.
Speaker B:You're going to go back over it later.
Speaker B:And oftentimes that gave me enough to work with that.
Speaker B:When I could revisit it on a day that I felt a little more clear, it would come together a little bit better and I could revise it.
Speaker B:I also at times would Instead of just typing things out, voice, note my thoughts and have that translated.
Speaker B:And you know, there's a lot of cleanup involved when you do it that way.
Speaker B:But it did help on those times when was feeling like it just wasn't coming out in the written word.
Speaker B:So I definitely feel like if people have that desire to write, there's a lot of ways we can do that now.
Speaker B:And there's a lot of ways we can accommodate our ADHD brain to make it possible.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think that's really powerful for people to hear that.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to look in this traditional way of just kind of like churning out, you know, words.
Speaker A:And I do that a lot actually.
Speaker A:I use like a voice transcription and I, yes, there is a bit of clearing up and you have to kind of, you know, go over it, but at least the contents of my brain are down and I can.
Speaker A:Then I actually find that I'm sometimes more inspired because I use that as the foundations and then I can type more using, you know, using that base.
Speaker A:But it's just like, it's like getting started, isn't it?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And sometimes it was easier to do it that way.
Speaker B:It was almost like a verbal processing was happening as I used that modality.
Speaker B:So, yeah, it's.
Speaker B:I think the important part is before starting these types of projects, it's really important to understand how you work best and understand your brain and embrace the fact that it's going to look.
Speaker B:Your process is going to look different than a neurotypical person's process might.
Speaker A:Yeah, I would say it's a really great book for someone who just wants to kind of have validation and more understanding of how their ADHD shows up and the different traits.
Speaker A:Something I wanted to talk about today, which we kind of discussed before that we think was a really interesting conversation.
Speaker A:That something I see a lot in myself in my community, I hear from people that listen to the podcast is that how their ADHD shows up is over, overcompensating, being overproductive, overworking, which leads to burnout and being this person that maybe has been fueled by perfectionism.
Speaker A:Someone who has known that there's something that's going on, or maybe they have had lots of criticism in the past and that has then given this, this impetus to constantly over deliver.
Speaker A:And I wonder if you could speak a little bit about this.
Speaker A:Do you think this is a female trait or do you think this is just a sort of a blanket ADHD trait?
Speaker A:And how do you see this showing up in day to day life?
Speaker B:I don't think it's just women that show up with that tendency.
Speaker B:I think there's a lot of things that play into that tendency to over deliver, to overcompensate, to overwork.
Speaker B:But I do think we are socialized as women to mask more than men maybe.
Speaker B:I think oftentimes we learn that early on we are, like you said, getting into that perfectionism as a coping mechanism at higher rates.
Speaker B:But I do think it can show up for anyone with adhd.
Speaker B:I think that the masking comes into play.
Speaker B:But I also think there's other things because of our ADHD symptoms that contribute, like our tendency to be really interested in something.
Speaker B:So we start a new job and we're excited about it.
Speaker B:It's new, it's novel.
Speaker B:So we're working really hard and then we've come to have this reputation as someone that produces these incredible outcomes.
Speaker B:So we, we may be able to sustain that for a time and then that can't last forever, right?
Speaker B:So we have this reputation and we feel that we have to continue to be that person that showed up with so much productivity.
Speaker B:And even in our own lives we notice those cycles, right?
Speaker B:So we one day might be able to work an eight hour day, you know, clean out a closet, go to all of our kids activities and we feel like Superwoman or Superman and then the next day we have to recover from that.
Speaker B:I feel that people with ADHD have bigger swings in their productivity naturally.
Speaker B:And so what can happen is when we have those productive days, we're expecting ourselves to operate that every single day after that because we know we can do it.
Speaker B:So we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to push through when we are exhausted and in need of recovery.
Speaker B:And I think that also contributes to that overworking and over delivering.
Speaker A:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:I think it's so relatable, isn't it?
Speaker A:Of like seeing that but knowing it's not sustainable.
Speaker A:And like you say, when you say we've got these swings, it's like it's our energy.
Speaker A:Because sometimes we don't even understand that one day we just wake up and we're just full of energy.
Speaker A:We feel like we can conquer the world and literally 24 hours later it's gone.
Speaker A:It's totally gone.
Speaker A:The motivation's gone, the interest is gone.
Speaker A:Can you speak a little bit about that?
Speaker A:Like what is that because of?
Speaker B:I think that hyper focus comes into play there.
Speaker B:If we've had a day and we're very hyper focused on something.
Speaker B:Oftentimes when we're hyper focused, we are not drinking enough water, we're not eating enough.
Speaker B:We are pushing ourselves and kind of ignoring some of our biological needs a little bit.
Speaker B:And our brain also just has like a huge metabolic demand.
Speaker B:So when we are zoned in on something, when we are using our brain at the level we're using it, when we're hyper focused, or even when we're using our body to get through a lot of things because we have a lot of energy, it's natural to need some recovery from that.
Speaker B:So I do think it's that that physical energy is different typically after periods of being hyper focused.
Speaker B:And then if we have struggle to eat or drink, that's just compounding that as well.
Speaker B:I also noticed that on days when I've been really, really hyper focused on something that my sleep often gets impacted.
Speaker B:So it's harder to turn our brain off when we've had those really active days.
Speaker B:So we may suffer the next day because we didn't get great sleep.
Speaker B:Sleep as well.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's like we operate in these extremes, isn't it?
Speaker A:And then because we may have gone through life of not understanding this, and then there was like shame and judgment, so there's a lot more energy to then go into either trying to understand it or mask it or analyze it.
Speaker A:Everything is involved around the energy.
Speaker A:And like you say, if we've been doing this and we then have this extreme of I need to just numb out, you know.
Speaker A:So if you've gone from like hyper focus for 10 hours that day, we've done everything, we've been overproductive.
Speaker A:We then shame ourselves for then not being able to have a conversation, for just literally kind of being in this kind of meltdown zone of numbing out, not being able to eat, talk, move, shower.
Speaker A:And I genuinely think that when we have this awareness and this understanding, we can be more intentional.
Speaker A:We're trying to bring in more moderation and exactly what you say, whether it's biological, whether it's, we have to be more intentional about like, let's drink some water, let's take a break, we need to eat, we need to stretch our legs or get some fresh air.
Speaker A:But when we don't have the awareness, it's really hard to put these practices into place because we think there's like a fundamental kind of personality flaw or something, you know, broken within us.
Speaker A:But I think that if we are able to give ourselves that self compassion and say, okay, now I understand my brain, I understand how my ADHD shows up, why I want to hyper focus, why I'm over producing why I'm overworking.
Speaker A:We can break it all down and slow down that ripple effect of everything almost descending into chaos and put those buffers in place.
Speaker A:This is how I've definitely helped myself and then help other people just creating those moments of awareness.
Speaker A:Take a breather, notice.
Speaker A:And then what have we got in our disposal?
Speaker A:Like, what buffer can I put in place to prevent it almost like spiraling out of control again?
Speaker A:It's hard, isn't it, when we've got ADHD and we have passion and we have enthusiasm and we have excitement, especially when it's novelty and it's new and it's something that's really lighting us up.
Speaker A:I mean, do you find now that you've been, obviously, you've been working with ADHD for so long, you're so entrenched and you've just written this book, do you still get derailed by and adhd?
Speaker B:Oh, of course, yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:I would say I don't get.
Speaker B:My train doesn't go quite as far off the tracks anymore, but it definitely.
Speaker B:There are days where it's very, very hard still.
Speaker B:I feel like ADHD evolves with time and whatever life phase you're in, you almost have to recalibrate and switch up your strategies and evaluate.
Speaker B:But my symptoms are absolutely still there.
Speaker B:I definitely have not conquered life with adhd, but I will say I'm living my life completely differently than I was before I was diagnosed.
Speaker B:A lot of what you just talked to around understanding my patterns and getting rid of that feeling of shame when I'm having a low day, it's kind of both, right?
Speaker B:It's taking the steps to prevent those low days from being so, so, so low.
Speaker B:And it's taking the steps to build self compassion so that when I am having a day where I need more recovery, I'm not also having a script running through my brain about, you know, how I messed up and how I put myself in this position again and I should know better and all of those things that we could say to ourselves that make that, that low day feel even worse and I think harder to recover from.
Speaker B:I have gotten better at truly being able to rest, to know my patterns, to recognize when hyper focus is a good thing and when it's starting to derail me a little bit.
Speaker B:And I've put a lot in place to help with that.
Speaker B:So the symptoms are there, but I look at them differently and I accommodate myself better now than I ever did before.
Speaker B:Before.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, you mentioned rest and I know that many of us really struggle with rest.
Speaker A:And we've had this very stereotypical way of what rest should look like and that is lying on a bed and trying to go to sleep.
Speaker A:And when we have got these brains that don't stop moving and going and we go from, maybe from a very hyper focused, extreme stimulating place, we can't just then go and lie down on a bed for 20 minutes and try and close your eyes and rest.
Speaker A:That just doesn't work for most of us.
Speaker A:Some people can, some people can literally just crash and fall asleep.
Speaker A:What does your rest look like?
Speaker A:And I guess maybe we can talk a little bit as to like what can ADHD rest look like when we have been in that place of over productivity and overworking and over delivering.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think rest really does need to be redefined for us.
Speaker B:And I think it's different.
Speaker B:We might need different types of rest depending on where we're at.
Speaker B:We might need that physical rest in our body.
Speaker B:We might just be needing more sleep.
Speaker B:And that's really important to honor when we can.
Speaker B:But I also think we need mental rest.
Speaker B:Sometimes we need to disengage from work, from the pressures of life.
Speaker B:Sometimes I think we need more active rest.
Speaker B:Like we need to be out in nature walking or hiking or something like that.
Speaker B:That's my favorite way to unwind on a weekend is doing something that's active in nature.
Speaker B:That's when I feel like my mind actually calms down.
Speaker B:And then we also need, you know, some of our rest time needs to be dedicated to learning and growth, especially if our job does not provide that for us.
Speaker B:So if we have a day to day that feels a little bit more mundane, that our job is kind of the same every day.
Speaker B:And you know, it's, it's bringing home a paycheck, it's providing for us, but it's not really lighting our brain up.
Speaker B:Then some of our rest should be learning something that's interesting to us to kind of give us that dopamine to have the motivation to do the rest of the things.
Speaker B:So we really do have to get to know ourselves and know what we find.
Speaker B:Re energizing versus just defaulting to that narrow view of rest.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker A:I like to be able to give these suggestions because when people, you know, if they're just saying, well I've been told that rest is, you have to lie down and you shouldn't be moving and you should have your eyes closed and rest, you know, is, is sleeping.
Speaker A:But I agree with you.
Speaker A:I'm the Same if someone said that to me, I would make me more anxious and I probably would not be any more rested than I would be if I was running around the house.
Speaker A:But if I go for a walk with my dog and I get outside, I can breathe, get rid of all the computer and the tech and everything, I feel much more re energized and rested as well.
Speaker A:And emotionally I'm calmer, my body's calmer.
Speaker A:Like everything is karma.
Speaker A:And we not, we're not told this.
Speaker A:And I think it's really important that when we're neurodivergent we can reframe these very sort of neurotypical ways that we've been told to do life.
Speaker A:So if we are wanting to, like you say, to learn and to grow, many of us find that learning with ADHD is, it feeds our curiosity, it feeds our creativity.
Speaker A:But someone else would say, oh my God, the thought of, you know, sitting and reading books and doing a course is just totally the opposite.
Speaker A:But I agree, like, if I can learn something different, that is not my day job, I feel more fulfilled and I feel content and it probably feeds into my emotional well being.
Speaker A:So it's trusting ourselves, isn't it?
Speaker A:It's trusting that even though we've been told one way to do life and to show up and, and that's what life should look like, it's okay for us to challenge and it's okay for us to query and to lean into what, to what works for us.
Speaker A:And I think many of us have gone through life kind of intuitively knowing what is good for us, what does work for us, but society and our conditioning and old beliefs and all of that have kind of like dampened out.
Speaker A:And that in itself is exhausting, isn't it?
Speaker A:Because not trust yourself this whole time to constantly be like, well, I feel this, but then someone's telling me that, and then we don't have this.
Speaker A:We, we don't know, we don't know what's right, we don't know what's wrong.
Speaker A:And that's what I love about these late in life diagnoses, because it's this validation of actually maybe I did know better, maybe I did.
Speaker A:If I had listened to myself, if I hadn't, you know, gone down the route of whatever that was, like say university or college or the degree, and I actually did the thing that I really wanted to do, maybe, you know, life would have turned out differently, whatever that might be.
Speaker A:We can't change the past, but we can start putting things in place now.
Speaker A:For the present and for the future, where we can lean more into what feels good to us and hopefully change the path and the.
Speaker A:And the journey for others behind us.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Are you finding that a lot with, I guess, the people that you're working with, the people who are being diagnosed later on in life who are just getting these understandings?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'd love to hear a little bit about what you're experiencing in your community.
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:I feel like that self trust that you spoke about is so, so critical.
Speaker B:Oftentimes I think people realize they have ADHD and they're looking for the life hacks.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Want to hear what are these little tiny changes?
Speaker B:And I love that life hacks, I mean, visual timers like those changed my life.
Speaker B:They can be really, really helpful for us.
Speaker B:But when I'm working with clients, I really do stress that getting to know yourself, understanding your brain, and then allowing yourself to do the things you know are right for you to operate differently and building the confidence and the trust that you can do things differently.
Speaker B:Because self trust is actually the number one thing.
Speaker B:I think people that are diagnosed later in life or maybe they weren't given a lot of psychoeducation about ADHD when they were diagnosed.
Speaker B:Rebuilding the self trust is really, really important because we've been reading all the things, most of us have been trying very, very hard to figure out how to exist as a neurotypical person our whole lives.
Speaker B:We are usually people that have consumed a ton of self help.
Speaker B:We, we've tried a lot of things.
Speaker B:It's not for lack of trying.
Speaker B:So it's easy to see how our confidence gets eroded over time.
Speaker B:And we have to rebuild that and be able to start there before any of those hacks are going to help us.
Speaker B:And it's really, really important to, to spend the time on that piece if you want those lifelong changes, in my opinion.
Speaker A:Yeah, I think that's so crucial for people to know because I agree with you.
Speaker A:Those hacks are great.
Speaker A:You know, those little tips, those reframes.
Speaker A:There's certain things that just make life easier.
Speaker A:But unless we are coming from like, deeply, intrinsically within us, where we can say, actually, I don't want to do life like that anymore, like, that's not working for me.
Speaker A:And you can look back and there's evidence there of burnout, health issues, gut issues, autoimmune problems, mental health conditions that potentially, yes, we all, we do know now that ADHD is the root of many really debilitating, you know, health crises.
Speaker A:But I wonder if we are able to remove that shame and the self criticism and we can start replacing that with more of the self forgiveness and the self compassion.
Speaker A:That when we make life easier for us and we remove that judgment, so many things start falling into place a little bit more.
Speaker A:You know, especially if maybe we.
Speaker A:Let's talk about careers.
Speaker A:If we've struggled in our career, we've struggled to find a place that we feel fulfilled, or we feel that we're kind of like hitting our purpose or our potential or whatever that is.
Speaker A:I would say potential.
Speaker A:And then we get the ADHD diagnosis and we can say, actually this is why working in an office environment hasn't worked for me.
Speaker A:This is why I come home and every night I have a migraine because of the artificial lighting or I can't get outside.
Speaker A:And when we make those changes and we lean into, actually I work much better on my own at home, or I work better when I'm outside, then we see ourselves kind of almost blossom and bloom.
Speaker A:And I would say my biggest hope that with all this awareness and everything you do and I do, is that we're getting diagnoses earlier on.
Speaker A:We're getting more people standing in like self empowerment and knowing how to advocate for themselves, ask for what they need.
Speaker A:No longer feeling that they can't ask for certain accommodations or they shouldn't work according to how their brain wants to work.
Speaker A:All these different things that we don't see this anymore.
Speaker A:We see people living up to their amazing potential.
Speaker A:Nothing upsets me more when I know I'm in front of someone who is clearly incredibly gifted and intelligent and passionate.
Speaker A:But because of the box that they found themselves in through, you know, lots of different variables, that they have kind of not had a very fulfilling life, it really upsets me.
Speaker A:So, yeah, I think this is just.
Speaker A:I would love to say that I hope that we're on this journey of recovery.
Speaker A:And yeah, I'm not sure.
Speaker A:I'm not sure where I'm going with that.
Speaker A:But I just thought, I wonder what you.
Speaker A:What you're seeing when you see someone that comes to you later on in life and there's a lot of pain and a lot of sadness and there's a lot of grief that I hope that we're the last generation that experiences that.
Speaker B:Yeah, I really hope we are too.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:And I think that, you know, maybe not the very last, because I still talk to parents and still hear a lot of things, like, I don't really think I need to get them diagnosed.
Speaker B:They're doing fine and they really are not like you said, they, they can fit into the box, they can force themselves into the box, but they're not comfortable in that box and they're not comfortable in their box in the school environment.
Speaker B:And they probably won't be if they choose the wrong environment for their career and their vocation.
Speaker B:So I think that we are getting so much closer.
Speaker B:I have seen the difference in my own child with the shifts we made in parenting and our philosophy, and she is doing amazing.
Speaker B:Like she is the kid that coaches love.
Speaker B:She's doing great.
Speaker B:And her path might not look like the path that other parents might want their kids, you know, to follow.
Speaker B:She's.
Speaker B:She's got a lot of different interests.
Speaker B:She may or may not go to a four year college.
Speaker B:I think she could if she wants to too.
Speaker B:But she also has a lot of entrepreneurial skills and desires and we're supporting that.
Speaker B:And I think that when we understand what our brains need, the environments that we operate best in, when we can help our kids explore that and help these younger people that are diagnosed earlier see that from the very beginning, then there's a whole lot of confidence that is built that they are capable.
Speaker B:If we are diagnosed later in life and we've spent 30 years in a career that we one day realize, wow, maybe it could have been different somewhere else, then there's a lot of grief that we have to sort through as well.
Speaker B:And that doesn't mean that we can't move forward in a different way and have the rest of our life be wonderful and fulfilling.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But we can't take away those feelings sometimes of, wow, it could have been different.
Speaker B:So when we start younger, with that excellent exploration and understanding, I, I do think more young people will find themselves in the right environment or not find themselves, it won't be an accident.
Speaker B:They will put themselves in the right environment because they'll understand what they need better.
Speaker B:And I think that that's why early diagnosis and information and advocacy is so important.
Speaker B:Because we need to help the people like you and me that were diagnosed later in life unwind a lot of that and move forward in a different way.
Speaker B:But we also need to educate all these PAR teachers and people that are supporting these young people with a diagnosis.
Speaker B:Because I work with a lot of clients that were diagnosed younger and a lot of times their experience isn't that different than ours.
Speaker B:They may have been told they had adhd, maybe given medication, maybe not, and continued to struggle, weren't really told what it really meant for them.
Speaker B:It was kind of looked at it through a very narrow lens, and they still find themselves as adults not really understanding what ADHD means for them.
Speaker B:So I do think that the information that is growing and like, like you said, the work that we're doing is making an impact.
Speaker B:I really, I do have high hopes for the future and for the next upcoming generations.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I think what's really great is that a lot of people who are being diagnosed with ADHD are then wanting to advocate wherever they work.
Speaker A:We're seeing, you know, this huge surge in people wanting to train in ADHD coaching as well, which I think is amaz, because, you know, how wonderful would it be if there was an ADHD coach in every single school?
Speaker A:Here we have SEN department, special education needs departments.
Speaker A:They, some of them are great, some of them aren't that great, but if we could have these departments where we're understanding neurodiversity so much better and how it shows up and how dyslexia and ADHD often go hand in hand and there's just this understanding.
Speaker A:And like you say, the people who've been diagnosed early on in life, maybe 20 years ago, they didn't then have the coaching and the support and the cheerleading and the hand holding to get them to that potential.
Speaker A:They just kind of be like, here's your diagnosis, here's some medication.
Speaker A:Good luck.
Speaker A:Whereas now we know how powerful coaching can be, and I love that.
Speaker A:One of our traits with ADHD is definitely to make a difference.
Speaker A:We want to help.
Speaker A:We're empaths.
Speaker A:I think it's a big, strong part of us is to advocate for people who maybe haven't got a stronger, stronger voice.
Speaker A:And so I think that this, this surge in people training to be ADHD coaches, if they can, we can adopt them around wherever they are in different careers and schools and universities.
Speaker A:We've got this net of holding people and supporting them when they really do need it.
Speaker A:Because as great as a diagnosis is, and great medication, you know, medication can be so helpful.
Speaker A:But I think if we haven't got the coaching alongside, it's really hard to still navigate life with adhd.
Speaker A:And, yeah, podcasts like mine and all your Instagram posts and everything are fantastic, but I think to have someone who just really gets it and really understands the nuances of ADHD and then can give guidance and support and help and motivation, like, helping them find that inner motivation to succeed is very powerful.
Speaker A:Do you trainer the coaches?
Speaker A:Like, what's your.
Speaker A:I guess, what's your service?
Speaker A:And people might be listening now and kind of go.
Speaker A:How could I work with you?
Speaker A:What, what's, what services do you have available?
Speaker B:I do a few things.
Speaker B:I do mentor solopreneurs.
Speaker B:A lot of those people are training to be coaches.
Speaker B:Not always ADHD coaches, but sometimes people that are trying to figure out, okay, well, I have this new skill set, but I really don't know how to work day to day on my own as an ADHDer.
Speaker B:So I work with those types of clients one on one.
Speaker B:I also have a community, it's called the Hummingbird Hive and that's open to anyone.
Speaker B:And we do weekly kind of planning meetings where we get together, everybody kind of does their planning process.
Speaker B:We share intentions, we just add a little more intentionality to our everyday lives together as a group.
Speaker B:And then there's also an educational component about that and Q&As and things like that as well.
Speaker B:I love that offer because it's accessible in a way that's, it's a little bit lower priced than one on one coaching would be.
Speaker B:I love one on one coaching.
Speaker B:I do think people make just so much progress in that format, but I only have so much capacity to coach.
Speaker B:Like you said, there's a lot of people training to be coaches right now, but I still think we are.
Speaker B:We have a huge need for more people in this field.
Speaker B:So being able to have an offer that accommodates more people is really important to me.
Speaker B:So those are my two main areas of focus.
Speaker B:Currently.
Speaker B:I occasionally, because I have adhd, I like to do a lot of different things in my business and I don't fight that anymore.
Speaker B:I don't just narrow down and put myself in a, in a spot where I'm only offering one thing.
Speaker B:So occasionally I will do a group program with different focus areas on different topics.
Speaker B:So those are things that kind of come up as I'm inspired to, to teach them.
Speaker A:Yeah, I love that I'm the same in the sense that I can go for months and months and not do a workshop or not put any offers out there.
Speaker A:And then I kind of criticizing myself for that because I'm clearly my energy is going somewhere else on a different project or something going on in my life.
Speaker A:And then when I get that energy back to do more offers, I go with that flow.
Speaker A:Now I kind of work with the ebbs and the flows and the, and the cycles and not push myself to show up the same way every single month because I know that's when I start resenting things and it becomes something that I dread.
Speaker A:So it's just another example, isn't it, of if we can work with the flow of our energy and our adhd.
Speaker A:And like you said earlier, when we are, you know, it shows up differently throughout our life and especially as women with our hormones and all of that, you know, that's a whole other conversation.
Speaker A:But we have to be aware of this and not fight it because the fighting takes so much energy.
Speaker A:And when we now have the awareness of adhd, we can almost just like drop, drop the weapons and just surrender a little bit more.
Speaker A:But also with awareness as well, compassionate awareness.
Speaker A:So I love this conversation and I love what you're doing and I really, really recommend the book.
Speaker A:I will put all the details in the show notes.
Speaker A:The book is called It All Makes Sense now, which clearly it does for so many of us.
Speaker A:And I just want to thank you for, for all your insights and your work in this, in this community.
Speaker A:Meredith, thank you so much.
Speaker B:Thank you as well.
Speaker A:I really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.
Speaker A:If you did and it resonated with you, I would absolutely love it if you, you could share on your platforms or maybe leave a review and a rating wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Speaker A:And please do check out my website, ADHD womenswellbeing.co.uk for lots of free resources and paid for workshops.
Speaker A:I'm uploading new things all the time and I would absolutely love to see you there.
Speaker A:Take care and see you for the next episode.
Speaker A:It.
