Episode 148

full
Published on:

30th May 2024

From Addiction and Impulsivity to Becoming an ADHD Movement Mentor!

Learn more about Kate's 'Summer Live ADHD Ask-Me-Anything Programme' here.

This week, we have Rosie Turner, founder of ADHD Untangled, on the podcast, and she tells me her story, which combines addiction, impulsivity, and restlessness, to becoming a yoga instructor, lover of exercise and now a certified ADHD coach.

Rosie's journey into ADHD coaching is deeply personal. Following her late ADHD diagnosis, she embarked on a path of self-discovery, having grappled with chaos, addiction, burnout and mental health struggles.

Rosie’s big U-turn came after life-altering events led her to run the London Marathon in honour of a friend who she lost due to mental health struggles.

Rosie’s ADHD diagnosis gave her an understanding of why she was unable to find her place in the world. From then on, she made a promise to herself to spend the rest of her life doing everything she could to support those with ADHD to turn their own story of struggle into a story of strength.

On today's ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, Kate and Rosie speak about:

  • Rosie's chaotic life before her ADHD diagnosis
  • How Rosie started her yoga journey
  • Rosie's journey to enjoying running and movement and how this began to change her life
  • The deep connection between exercise and meditation to calming her ADHD
  • Rosie's addictive patterns, including how this impacted her exercise routine
  • How to maintain novelty and motivation with exercise and movement
  • Changing up our routines to help create motivation
  • Understanding and being aware of our individual brains
  • The shame we hold and letting it go to move forward with more balance and self-acceptance
  • Having a deeper why for having a healthier routine to combat the challenging days
  • Rosie's new ADHD coaching practice

Connect with Rosie, her coaching work and podcast here

Look at some of Kate's ADHD workshops and free resources here.

Kate Moryoussef is a women’s ADHD Lifestyle & Wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed ADHD women find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity. 

Follow the podcast on Instagram here.

Follow Kate on Instagram here.

Find Kate's resources on ADDitude magazine here.

If you'd like further support regarding any of the topics today, head here:

Help with alcohol addiction

Samaritans

Mind.org mental health support

Help with addiction issues Mind.org

Mentioned in this episode:

Gratitude link

Transcript
Kate Moore Youssef:

So, hi everyone.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Just before we get started on today's episode, I wanted to let you know about my brand new live coaching summer program.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's happening over June, July and August.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's four different sessions and this is for you.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If you would like to be able to ask me anything, I'm there to do some group coaching, answer questions, give you some guidance, help you feel a bit more empowered, enlightened about your recent ADHD diagnosis.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So this is there for you to help you build your awareness.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And as routines sort of tend to go out the window over summer, these are just ad hoc coaching sessions for a group where you can come in and you can listen to other people ask questions or you can ask questions yourself.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now, as you know, I'm not a licensed therapist, I am a coach, so I'm not there to give you medication advice, but I am able to help you with lifestyle advice if you are interested in changing careers.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If you're looking for a more spiritual take on the way you live your life with this new chapter of ADHD.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So I'm really looking forward to this.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's four different sessions, it's 144 pounds for the 4 live group coaching sessions, which is a really fantastic opportunity to work with me, ask some questions and connect with other like minded people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So all the information is on my website.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If you just head there, you'll be able to see all the details and this is all going to be live on zoom.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So this is going to be safe, non judgmental space where you can really ask those questions and discuss your concerns among amongst people who really do get it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm hoping to be able to offer you as much practical, emotional and spiritual tools and practices so you can apply straight away to your daily life.

Kate Moore Youssef:

All the details are on my website, adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk and I really look forward to seeing you then.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And here is today's episode.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Welcome to the ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'm Kate Moore Youssef and I'm a wellbeing and lifestyle coach, EFT practitioner, mum to four kids and passionate about helping more women to understand and accept their amazing ADHD brains.

Kate Moore Youssef:

After speaking to many women just like me and probably you, I know there is a need for more health and lifestyle support for women newly diagnosed with adhd.

Kate Moore Youssef:

In these conversations you'll learn from insightful guests, hear new findings and discover powerful perspectives and lifestyle tools to enable you to live your most fulfilled, calm and purposeful life wherever you are on Your ADHD journey.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Here's today's episode.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Today, I'm delighted to welcome someone who I've known for a little while now, delightful person.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Her name is Rosie Turner, and she is the founder of the ADHD Untangled podcast and coaching company.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She's an accredited and certified ADHD coach, and she's also a Pilates and yoga instructor.

Kate Moore Youssef:

She knows ADHD inside and out.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I'm just delighted to welcome Rosie to the podcast because we're really going to talk about how ADHD has shown up for her, how she's navigated it, I guess, undiagnosed, for many years, and now how she's helping so many other people navigate their own life with ADHD and to really move from those limitations and, as she says, to their unique advantages.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So, Rosie, welcome to the podcast.

Rosie Turner:

Thank you.

Rosie Turner:

I can't believe I'm here.

Rosie Turner:

This is like the first podcast I ever listened to when I got diagnosed and I was, like, completely hyper focused on it.

Rosie Turner:

So I'm so excited to be here.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Well, I'm delighted to have you here.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And like I said, you know, we've known each other for a little while now, and I'm really happy to have you here because I think you're going to be able to blend a couple of conversations together, you know, things that are really important.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But, you know, the under.

Kate Moore Youssef:

The art that I really want to kind of focus on is how you found movement and exercise to help you through some really difficult, challenging times, and how that is now sort of underpinning what you do with ADHD and coaching and blending all together in the beautiful way that you do.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So maybe we could, I guess, go back to the beginning and could you explain a little bit about what it was like living undiagnosed when you actually had no idea it was ADHD that was sort of derailing you and your relationships.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And you said there was a lot of chaos and there was addiction and there was burnout and mental health struggles.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And are you able to kind of just paint the picture a little bit for us?

Rosie Turner:

Yeah, of course.

Rosie Turner:

There's, like, so much.

Rosie Turner:

So I'm sorry if I go from one thing to the other, but I think overall my life felt undiagnosed.

Rosie Turner:

When I look back and reflect on it now is obviously chaotic is the word that I use, and I know many others do.

Rosie Turner:

But also it felt like I was constantly living in extremes, so constantly going from one extreme to the other, trying to sort of find something external to make me feel like I was okay, that, you know, Who I was was enough.

Rosie Turner:

I felt lost a lot of the time.

Rosie Turner:

And I think what it was is that I just couldn't understand who it is I was and what it is I wanted from life.

Rosie Turner:

So what I was doing is anyone that I was around in my environment, I was looking at the person next to me and going, right, well, they're doing this.

Rosie Turner:

So maybe that's what I need to be doing to feel okay and normal.

Rosie Turner:

And whether that would be getting married, following the same career paths as people around me, having the same beliefs as people around me, lots of masking and being all different people.

Rosie Turner:

And as you mentioned, you know, at the beginning, it was, you know, I was an addict at one point because party scene was where I was at for a long time.

Rosie Turner:

And that was what I was.

Rosie Turner:

You know, we can't be what we can't see.

Rosie Turner:

And what I could see was that I got married very impulsively, very young, and I was trying to play housewife and be that person for a while and follow, like, a career that everyone was like, you know, it's not about having a fun career because I always had this urge to do something that was meaningful.

Rosie Turner:

But I was told by my parents and, you know, everyone around me that, you know, work's not meant to be fun, so go and get a job that's going to pay you well, so become an EA like everyone else.

Rosie Turner:

But what kept happening was I kept doing that and kept going towards these things that I thought was the right thing to do.

Rosie Turner:

But I was almost fighting between what I now believe to be my intuition, my soul, what, you know, whatever word people resonate with.

Rosie Turner:

And I'd get down these paths and halfway down them, quite deep into them, obviously, when I get back, when I got married and things like that, and I'd have this, like, sort of realization, and I'd be like, I don't want this.

Rosie Turner:

I don't know what else it is I want.

Rosie Turner:

And then I'll just go travel or do something quite impulsive in the complete opposite direction.

Rosie Turner:

And it just kept going like that.

Rosie Turner:

It kept going from, I was an addict, then I become a yoga teacher.

Rosie Turner:

I was married, then divorce.

Rosie Turner:

Thought I wanted to be on my own, had six weeks on my own, jumped into another serious relationship.

Rosie Turner:

It was sort of like I wasn't trusting myself.

Rosie Turner:

And I just didn't know why I felt like that, why I was so, you know, impulsive, why I felt so different.

Rosie Turner:

And it was just restlessness as well.

Rosie Turner:

I couldn't be on my own in a room and now I absolutely love my own company and struggle to do the opposite, you know, So I just didn't know myself for so long.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So how old were you when you got married?

Rosie Turner:

I was 24.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Okay.

Rosie Turner:

Just turned 24.

Rosie Turner:

So we got engaged the year before, and we was partying in Vegas when he proposed.

Rosie Turner:

We hadn't slept for 24 hours, and that was the next thing I knew.

Rosie Turner:

I was organizing a huge wedding of like, 300 people and walking down an aisle.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Wow.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And how long were you married for?

Rosie Turner:

So we was married for two years together, for seven in total.

Rosie Turner:

But, yeah, it was a, yeah, party lifestyle type of relationship, and our whole relationship was wrapped up in that and our friends parting with them all the time and living really unhealthy lifestyles.

Rosie Turner:

And he actually was diagnosed with adhd, which at the time, obviously, I never knew much about and.

Rosie Turner:

Or anything, so.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So was there a part of you while this was all going on and you felt like you knew something was not quite right?

Kate Moore Youssef:

But was there a part of you that kind of knew that something needs to be unearthed?

Kate Moore Youssef:

That, like, there was a miss, a missing piece?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Or was that each time you were, you know, you were partying, you're getting married, you were, you know, choosing different career paths?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Was there at that sort of soul level, part of you that was like, there's something not right here.

Rosie Turner:

I need to find out what's going on 100%.

Rosie Turner:

I always knew there was something, and I just didn't know what it was.

Rosie Turner:

Something.

Rosie Turner:

Something was going to click at some point.

Rosie Turner:

That's what I thought.

Rosie Turner:

You know, I thought, right, something is gonna happen that's gonna make sense, make my life make sense, and explain this feeling, you know, find my way.

Rosie Turner:

And that's why I think for a long time, it was the external stuff that I thought would bring that.

Rosie Turner:

But as obviously, life changed and transformed, I realized that was very much an internal, internal thing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So how did you come across ADHD and, you know, go down that path of diagnosis?

Rosie Turner:

So I had just started to, again, face struggles in my next relationship.

Rosie Turner:

We'd just bought a house.

Rosie Turner:

We'd also been together for six years, and it was.

Rosie Turner:

I think it was in the second lockdown by then.

Rosie Turner:

And because I'd thought, I'm here again.

Rosie Turner:

This guy is really good, actually.

Rosie Turner:

He's really kind, and he's really nice, and we had a really lovely relationship.

Rosie Turner:

But once again, the feeling was back of, I don't want this.

Rosie Turner:

And all of a sudden, the impulsive behavior would come back in and I'd be reverting back.

Rosie Turner:

And I was doing yoga at this point.

Rosie Turner:

I was teaching yoga at this point.

Rosie Turner:

And I thought, how the hell are we back here feeling this emptiness or like something's missing again and something's wrong.

Rosie Turner:

And I went off in that moment.

Rosie Turner:

I got offered a job in Amsterdam, like randomly on LinkedIn.

Rosie Turner:

And I was like, right, I'm going running.

Rosie Turner:

I'm going to run away and, you know, escape and figure out what's going on.

Rosie Turner:

And we still connected during that time.

Rosie Turner:

And then when I came home, I'd basically been doing, you know, where we'd been living together.

Rosie Turner:

He'd said a few things like, you've left the gas.

Rosie Turner:

Hop on again.

Rosie Turner:

You've left four car doors open the other day.

Rosie Turner:

Something's wrong.

Rosie Turner:

I'm a bit worried that you've got, you know.

Rosie Turner:

He thought I had a brain tumor, basically.

Rosie Turner:

So there was all these external things that other people were seeing and my emotional dysregulation, despite all the meditation and stuff, there were still moments where I see it come back.

Rosie Turner:

And because I wasn't partying anymore, I wasn't, you know, living my life in the way I was previously.

Rosie Turner:

I was doing all of these things that were grounding me and making me feel good.

Rosie Turner:

I just knew that there was still something that wasn't right.

Rosie Turner:

So I did go for brain scans, and at a point they thought they saw something.

Rosie Turner:

So we had to go through the whole process of waiting and going back for CT scans and MRIs.

Rosie Turner:

And once that got the all clear, I was like, right, I'm just going to Google, why am I doing all this stuff?

Rosie Turner:

And ADHD came up and obviously I knew what it was because I, as I said, my husband had it, my ex husband and my cousin had been diagnosed.

Rosie Turner:

But like everybody, I didn't realize what it actually meant.

Rosie Turner:

And when I started reading about, you know, impulsive behavior and getting bored easily, reject sensitivities to rejection, I just, I had that moment that we all tend to have.

Rosie Turner:

And I was like, oh, my God, I think this might be it.

Rosie Turner:

This might be it.

Rosie Turner:

And so I got put in for a screening.

Rosie Turner:

I had to wait.

Rosie Turner:

I think it was about a year I waited, and I'd sort of forgotten about it by then.

Rosie Turner:

And then online they diagnosed me.

Rosie Turner:

And he said to me, the guy that had diagnosed with the doctor, he said, well, what do you think this is going to change for your life?

Rosie Turner:

And I said, I have no idea.

Rosie Turner:

And he said, if you want medication, you can have it.

Rosie Turner:

We'll send you some paperwork.

Rosie Turner:

And a monitor to do your heart rate.

Rosie Turner:

And that was it.

Rosie Turner:

And I didn't take medication at that point.

Rosie Turner:

I didn't want to because I didn't know enough about it.

Rosie Turner:

And then I went on the hyperfocus.

Rosie Turner:

That's when the self study started.

Rosie Turner:

So your podcast, Dr.

Rosie Turner:

Ned Halliwell's book was the first book I ever read, ADHD 2.0.

Rosie Turner:

And it was literally in that moment that I was like, oh, my God, this.

Rosie Turner:

I have.

Rosie Turner:

I have to do something with this and, you know, bring this into the work that I want to do, because I made a promise to myself basically from that moment that I'll do everything I can to help others as I'm helping myself, because there must be so many people that feel this way and.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Yeah, yeah, well, you know, you probably were surrounded by a lot of people who were probably undiagnosed adhd, you said there was partying and chaos and addiction.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And there's always a reason.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You know, we always know that we kind of get attracted to similar tribes and we're all at different stages of self awareness and of understanding or wanting to even.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Not a lot of people want to kind of go down.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's a harder route, isn't it, moving away from that place, moving away from what we, what we know.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And change is hard, but you've kind of actively made that choice and you made that promise that you were going to.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Now that you understood what was going on, you wanted to help other people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And going back to what you said, that even even though you were doing all the meditation and yoga, that emotional dysregulation was still a challenge for you.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I hear this so much is that we think, oh, we're just going to do some breathing exercise and we'll just do some yoga and it's all going to go and I'm going to be super Zen.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's not that easy, but it's just little incremental shifts and little kind of like commitments.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I always think I've got quite a few different yoga teachers and I've done lots of different yoga classes over the years.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And they always have a very similar story that they were taken to yoga, they found yoga because they needed it themselves.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And it's the same, isn't it the same with us being coaches, we've had to go through that hard period to then say, right, we get it, and we now want to be able to help other people while also still helping ourselves, ourselves on this journey because we're still figure figuring it out and you're helping now the you of say, three years ago, five years ago, same as me.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we're just kind of learning a bit more and then we teach a little bit more, guide a little bit more.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And you know, I go back to what I love about what you do, is that you're blending your commitment and your passion for movement and yoga and breath work and meditation.

Kate Moore Youssef:

All the things that you've kind of blended in.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And not only are you sort of noticing how it's helped you, you're then now hopefully helping lots of other people.

Kate Moore Youssef:

How.

Kate Moore Youssef:

What would you say to someone who is really new to all of this adhd?

Kate Moore Youssef:

They're really, they're listening to this podcast, they're listening to you and thinking, I really resonate with Rosie's story.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But yoga just feels, you know, there's just no way.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I can't sit through a yoga class.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I can barely, you know, sit still for two minutes.

Kate Moore Youssef:

How do you encourage someone to start testing the waters a little bit with yoga?

Rosie Turner:

I'm so glad you asked this because I always look back and think, oh my God, like I thought exactly the same when someone used to say the word yoga meditation.

Rosie Turner:

I used to think, there is no way I am getting on a mat and doing yoga.

Rosie Turner:

There's no chance.

Rosie Turner:

It would feel like torture to me is what I thought.

Rosie Turner:

And when I got to this place and I had lost how I got on the mat, the first time ever was actually I'd lost my friend to suicide and he had signed me up to the London Marathon as a joke and I wasn't going to do it.

Rosie Turner:

And when he passed, I decided to.

Rosie Turner:

So when my friend then asked me after we had lost him, I'm going to yoga today.

Rosie Turner:

You're gonna come.

Rosie Turner:

Like she used to always ask me at lunch.

Rosie Turner:

And I thought, do you know what?

Rosie Turner:

I'm going to go.

Rosie Turner:

And I turned up to this class.

Rosie Turner:

It was full of people doing like one handed handstands.

Rosie Turner:

They were so like muscly and fit.

Rosie Turner:

And I was basically still an addict at this time.

Rosie Turner:

I couldn't even hold a downward dog.

Rosie Turner:

And something happened when I went to that class.

Rosie Turner:

I wasn't good at it.

Rosie Turner:

I could hardly do any of it.

Rosie Turner:

But I think because of the type of class I went to, which was, was challenging for a start.

Rosie Turner:

There was something about the teacher as well.

Rosie Turner:

He was so authentic and he wasn't what I had in my head as a perception of a yoga teacher.

Rosie Turner:

He used to be a dj, he's had great music and somehow, and I Don't know what happened, but I managed to get through that class and I cried at the Shavasana at the end and I did do cry every Shavasana for about a year, I think.

Rosie Turner:

I think that was my release.

Rosie Turner:

And what I would say to others is there are so many teachers out there with all different styles.

Rosie Turner:

There's so many types of yoga.

Rosie Turner:

And if you are being called to try yoga or a form of movement, any movement, try lots of different stuff first.

Rosie Turner:

And don't be put off by going, oh, I've gone to a yin class and my mind was racing and I absolutely couldn't, couldn't stay in there any longer.

Rosie Turner:

I would say try different teachers, different classes and see what it is that draws you, you know, what draws you in.

Rosie Turner:

Because I think I was lucky that I found something quite quickly.

Rosie Turner:

But I think a lot of people assume what yoga is and actually these days, and especially in London, we have so many amazing teachers that do really creative things and, you know, set it up perfectly for a brain like ours, you know.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Yeah, yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I think it's so important what you're saying is that you just have to go and try and see what works for you.

Rosie Turner:

I believe we get, once we get on this journey of whatever movement it is, but we're using yoga as an example.

Rosie Turner:

We start with what works for us as our entry.

Rosie Turner:

And for me it was a rocket and it had to be something hardcore to get into my body.

Rosie Turner:

For you, it sounds like restorative was your, and, you know, where you went, started and I think.

Rosie Turner:

But once we get into that and then we can, you know, we find the benefits and we hit that baseline in our nervous system and, you know, we're starting to enjoy the journey of yoga, then we notice that, oh, actually I'm going to go a bit deeper and try this thing over here and maybe I need a bit more Yang in my life or Yin.

Rosie Turner:

And then we can start to actually sit through those classes that we thought we wanted to avoid in the beginning.

Rosie Turner:

So I think it's so interesting that that happened.

Rosie Turner:

Everyone I speak to, even teachers, they start off with a certain type of, you know, teaching a certain type of yoga and as they grow as a person, they start to teach a different type.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I think like you say, we're.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's different cycles in our life, especially as women.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We are cyclic beings and depending, you know, whether you've had kids, you haven't had kids, you practice it in the morning or the evening.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We, where we are in our actual cycle as well.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I think it's just so important just to lean into that without the judgment of, I should be doing it like this, I should be more energetic, I should be sweating, or I should be lying down and relaxing right now and just remove all of those sort of preconceptions and the shoulds and just do what works for you.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And, you know, like you said, we're using yoga as an example.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But, you know, tell me a little bit about when you run the London Marathon and were you not into exercise?

Kate Moore Youssef:

Were you not noticing mo movement could help you with your mental health and especially going through what you did, being an addict and moving out of that into recovery.

Kate Moore Youssef:

How did exercise play a part in that?

Rosie Turner:

Yeah, I just want to add actually to what you just said.

Rosie Turner:

And it's about, I always say, follow the fun first with movement.

Rosie Turner:

So you definitely, like you said, let go of the should and go with what feels fun.

Rosie Turner:

So for me, it was being upside down, even if I lasted two seconds in a hands down when I started.

Rosie Turner:

So, yes, the marathon, I was not fit at this point at all into any form of exercise, apart from when I was at school.

Rosie Turner:

I used to love gymnastics and that was years and years before that.

Rosie Turner:

And it almost felt like something in his honor to do.

Rosie Turner:

And my sister was like, I'll do it with you.

Rosie Turner:

She also wasn't very, you know, sporty or anything.

Rosie Turner:

So we started training.

Rosie Turner:

I was still drinking quite a lot, but we had like once a week a personal trainer.

Rosie Turner:

At lunchtime we'd run to work together because we both worked in the same place once a week.

Rosie Turner:

So I started to incorporate it slowly, because of the marathon into my life.

Rosie Turner:

It started to slowly change things in my mind and I started to notice that, you know, my mood was a lot better and I was starting to slowly make little decisions that were better for me.

Rosie Turner:

So I might have been skipping the pub at lunchtime once a week and go into the PT class instead, you know, and whilst it didn't completely, you know, overnight transform and overcome my addiction, it was like slowly changing the way that I felt and the way that I saw the world and saw myself, because I was starting to feel a lot stronger and like, wow, I can, you know, I've run seven miles today.

Rosie Turner:

I never even.

Rosie Turner:

I couldn't even run free a few months ago.

Rosie Turner:

And then when we completed the marathon, I mean, I was ruined because obviously I wasn't as fit as I should have been.

Rosie Turner:

I think I drunk like two bottles of red wine the night before and stuff.

Rosie Turner:

I was definitely not, you know, in a fit state, but I did it, and I did it in quite good time, considering I wasn't fit.

Rosie Turner:

I think it gave me confidence and made me realize that how beneficial it had been, the small changes that happened in my life.

Rosie Turner:

And it also helped me process.

Rosie Turner:

You know, I was thinking a lot about my friend, and, you know, he was in a similar cycle as I was.

Rosie Turner:

And I think that combined with the exercise and that experience that happened, I started to think about my life.

Rosie Turner:

And, you know, during those runs, I would always be reflecting on what I was doing and how I was living my life in that moment after, you know, in those weeks after the marathon, I started to think, I want to keep this up.

Rosie Turner:

I don't want to let this go.

Rosie Turner:

This has been a positive impact on my life.

Rosie Turner:

I felt better, and I started just to create a morning routine, kept it up, and then started to increase it.

Rosie Turner:

Going to the gym and doing, like, HIIT classes, it started with and doing more of the yoga classes that I liked.

Rosie Turner:

And then all of a sudden, the more I started doing that, the more I didn't want to go out and drink.

Rosie Turner:

I didn't want to hang over in the morning, because my morning routine was everything.

Rosie Turner:

This movement in the morning was absolutely changing my life.

Rosie Turner:

The more I kept it up, I was more focused at work.

Rosie Turner:

I started.

Rosie Turner:

I actually got promoted and put into the events team to cover a maternity cover, which had never happened to me in work.

Rosie Turner:

So I was doing more work that I was enjoying instead of just the EA stuff my family and friends like, you know, I was showing up for them totally different.

Rosie Turner:

And my mental health was just improving bit by bit.

Rosie Turner:

And that is what eventually, over time, keeping that up, you know, helped me overcome addiction because it was just no longer of interest to me or as important anymore.

Rosie Turner:

What was important is becoming the person I wanted, you know, wanted to become and wanting to feel good and not just hungover all the time and depressed and not being able to have the energy to do anything I wanted to do.

Rosie Turner:

And looking back now, I believe it was because I was choosing a more healthier form of dopamine.

Rosie Turner:

And it was working, but it took time and it took consistency.

Rosie Turner:

And it meant, as I said, having a deeper why behind what I was doing in that marathon helped me overcome something that I would never have done and making it enjoyable.

Rosie Turner:

So the connection with my sister doing that and the classes I was choosing and all these things, now that I look back and think that's why progress.

Rosie Turner:

And I think yoga was great for that because you always had little goals to aim for, so a new pose or something like that.

Rosie Turner:

So it was very physical, my entry into supporting my mental health of it and overcoming addiction, because it.

Rosie Turner:

It had to be something that was going to be a physical, you know, entry for me.

Rosie Turner:

And then eventually that filtered into meditation, that all of a sudden I could start to meditate and I could do these things that I thought I could never, ever do.

Rosie Turner:

So exercise was basically the thing that changed and saved my life.

Rosie Turner:

And I don't think I would have got to my ADHD diagnosis without it, because I wouldn't have been quiet enough to listen, to know there was something else going on.

Rosie Turner:

It wasn't hangovers anymore.

Rosie Turner:

If it wasn't for exercise, I would have still probably been hungover and blaming that.

Rosie Turner:

That was what I always used to say.

Rosie Turner:

I'm, you know, I'm forgetting things because I'm hungover all the time.

Rosie Turner:

Or I'm not good at work because I'm hungover.

Rosie Turner:

I'm having arguments with my partner because I'm always on a comedown.

Rosie Turner:

And that wasn't.

Rosie Turner:

And that wasn't the case.

Rosie Turner:

Obviously, it wasn't helping.

Rosie Turner:

But, yeah, exercise brought me to the.

Rosie Turner:

To the answers.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You see, first of all, I think your story is really, really inspiring.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But you kind of make it sound like it was an easy choice for you, and it wasn't.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I can hear that, that, you know, to make those choices every day, to not drink, to choose to wake up in the morning, do the class, do the run, the yoga, like that just takes.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And you were building that inner strength and that resilience and everyday choosing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And with adhd, where we get this diagnosis, we can either just sit with the diagnosis and carry on life as it always has been, or we use it as a turning point, and we use it as an opportunity to be like, I don't want to live like this anymore.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But what I can hear from you is that you were just noticing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You were noticing so much about yourself.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And like you say, the exercise quietened down the noise in your head and allowed you to hear what it was that you did want to do and you were ready for.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And it's so.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's so profound because the exercise, like you say, the dopamine, we are working with neurotransmitters in our brain, so it's not a coincidence.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's not just, you know, good for your body.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We're actually rewiring these pathways, these neural pathways, so we can choose different dopamine, you know, seeking behavior like, instead of choosing drink, drugs, food, gambling, the dopamine goes, like you say, towards the healthier behaviors.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I know a lot of people who have also got through their addictions through running, and there seems to be like a bit of correlation there that if you are, you have a tendency, you know, whether you're neurodivergent or not, you have this tendency towards dopamine seeking and you have addictive tendency.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If we can transfer that over to something like exercise or running, we notice that we stick, we stick to it because the dopamine seeking doesn't disappear.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Like, we can't just go, you know, I've got a diagnosis now.

Kate Moore Youssef:

What's going on?

Kate Moore Youssef:

That's going to go away, that's going to go away and I'm just going to be fine.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We have to make these active choices and say, right, this is.

Kate Moore Youssef:

This is going to be my brain, these are going to be my tendencies.

Kate Moore Youssef:

How can I work with them?

Kate Moore Youssef:

So it's working for me, not against me.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And so I was going to say, like, if you have, and I know we're all human here, if you have weeks, days where you don't want to exercise, where you're feeling shit, you're tired, you're overwhelmed, you burn out.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And again, I want to go back to.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Just because we're ADHD coaches and we understand this world a little bit better doesn't mean we don't have those bad days, those bad weeks, and where our ADHD kind of gets on top of us.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So how do you claw through that?

Kate Moore Youssef:

How do you kind of like, break down the cycle and start again?

Rosie Turner:

Yeah, and I have days like that and weeks like that all the time.

Rosie Turner:

And I think, as you say, the journey, even up to this, there was a lot of going backwards and forwards at first, because you're an addict at the end of the day, and I was still around, everyone I was around was not doing what I was doing.

Rosie Turner:

They wasn't going to yoga, they wasn't going to the gym.

Rosie Turner:

So there was a lot of going to the gym and then sometimes having moments where I'd fell back into it.

Rosie Turner:

So that went backwards and forwards for a very, very long time.

Rosie Turner:

And now, like last week, I had a week where I was, like, I said, get on my mat every morning and I can't be bothered.

Rosie Turner:

I just can't be bothered.

Rosie Turner:

But I really believe that I will always find a way to do something.

Rosie Turner:

And on the days last week that I really felt like I was laying here thinking, oh, God, there's only, I Can only do a few stretches and that's all I can manage today.

Rosie Turner:

I will always try and get out on a walk or even if it's a walk to like the shops or something like that, I will move my body in some way and how I overcome that is again, like you said, it's a choice that I, I make because at the end of the day we can choose to just not do anything and, you know, make that decision.

Rosie Turner:

But for me, I know the impact it will have on the rest of my day if I don't move or if I don't do that for my brain, I know what the consequence is and it's more chaos for me.

Rosie Turner:

It's the fear as well.

Rosie Turner:

I suppose for me is my mental health always.

Rosie Turner:

But it's then just doing what I can.

Rosie Turner:

Like before I went, because I was an addict in the other direction when I got into my exercise and I really went that way eventually, like really, really into it, I was also addicted to exercise.

Rosie Turner:

Right?

Rosie Turner:

That's.

Rosie Turner:

That was the thing.

Rosie Turner:

I went to the extreme.

Rosie Turner:

I lost all my estrogen, wasn't having periods, and I became addicted the other way.

Rosie Turner:

So that wasn't healthy either.

Rosie Turner:

So what I now do is if my body is tired and it's not doing what what I plan to do that morning, I will find a way to do something.

Rosie Turner:

But it doesn't matter how small that is.

Rosie Turner:

It hasn't got to be 20,000 steps or a whole yoga class.

Rosie Turner:

It's just got to be something.

Rosie Turner:

And what is good enough and what's going to make me feel, you know, like I, you know, moved and I've done something that's nourishing for my body and my brain instead of putting that pressure on to go right, I've got to do a whole yoga class.

Rosie Turner:

I have to lift weights today.

Rosie Turner:

I have to do this amount of steps.

Rosie Turner:

So I think if someone out there is like, you know, struggling even to get started or to stay consistent, it's.

Rosie Turner:

How do you resparkalize it?

Rosie Turner:

Resparkalize it.

Rosie Turner:

It doesn't have to look the same every day.

Rosie Turner:

Yeah, that's what I say.

Rosie Turner:

Respark.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Is that a rosy word?

Kate Moore Youssef:

I think it might be a racy word.

Rosie Turner:

Yeah.

Rosie Turner:

I use it in my clients and everyone comments on it.

Rosie Turner:

There's not one person that has a comment, but it is responding.

Rosie Turner:

Our brains are going to get bored, whatever it is.

Rosie Turner:

Even if you go for a movement class that you absolutely love, we will always find a way to get bored of what we're doing.

Rosie Turner:

So resparkalizers Sometimes that for me is instead of starting my morning with yoga, I'm going to now change it to I walk first, then I do yoga.

Rosie Turner:

Or it's normally the thing that's missing for me when I'm getting bored.

Rosie Turner:

And it's always the same thing is my playlist.

Rosie Turner:

As soon as I've changed my playlist, I'm like, oh, I'm motivated again.

Rosie Turner:

So that's what I say, resparkalize.

Rosie Turner:

Look at the things that.

Rosie Turner:

How can you change it a little bit?

Rosie Turner:

And it's not always like a big thing.

Rosie Turner:

Right.

Rosie Turner:

But maybe you're getting bored of training on your own.

Rosie Turner:

So now it's about.

Rosie Turner:

It's time to try something local and go to a class or vice versa.

Rosie Turner:

It's just looking at ways of changing it and accepting that we are going to get bored.

Rosie Turner:

You are not going to do the same thing for 10 years.

Rosie Turner:

I've done this for 10 years.

Rosie Turner:

But it's, oh, my God, it's changed all the time.

Rosie Turner:

It had to.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I think what you're just saying then is just like, just give yourself permission to lean into the brain that we've got and we will get bored.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We get bored of certain careers, we get bored of certain relationships, like you say, exercise plans.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And instead of beating ourselves up and punishing ourselves for not being consistent and sticking to the same thing all the time, it's like, let's embrace it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Let's work with that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You know, I want to leave the listeners after this conversation really being able to learn how they can use their brain for their.

Kate Moore Youssef:

For the best life and to thrive.

Rosie Turner:

Exactly.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And to not be limited and see our challenges for what they are.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But instead of being in this loop of, well, I can't do that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'm not doing it at all.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You know, the all or nothing thinking of if I don't feel like exercising today, well, that's it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

My exercise mojo's gone.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And leaning into, you know, I have so many days and weeks where something in my career or the business or something, and I'm like, oh.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And I kind of just want to do the whole.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I want to close it all down.

Rosie Turner:

But yeah, those days.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But I've learned that that's not real.

Kate Moore Youssef:

That's just me wanting to, I'm going to use your word, resparkalize something.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's something that is sucking and depleting my energy.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And we can look at that in everything.

Kate Moore Youssef:

You know, we can look at it in our homes, like something like needs decluttering relationships, friendships, like we are.

Kate Moore Youssef:

It's okay to say, and again, I'm going to go back to you, that if the people that you were hanging around with were pulling you back to those addictive patterns, it's okay to let certain friendships go and it's okay to let certain careers or businesses or things go and be okay with that.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Because we have this, we have perpetuated this sort of cycle of self punishment that we aren't doing things according to the neurotypical way.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And very often it's our own expectations holding us down, it's our own internal pressures and no one else gives a shit.

Kate Moore Youssef:

No one else really cares.

Rosie Turner:

So, no, they don't.

Rosie Turner:

Yeah, I just want to add sorry, bomb, because I'm going to do that thing where it's going to plan.

Rosie Turner:

Bye.

Rosie Turner:

Bye.

Rosie Turner:

You know what you just said there about letting go of shame?

Rosie Turner:

Because again, remember, I always think of addiction or unhealthy habits.

Rosie Turner:

It lives in shame.

Rosie Turner:

So actually the more we're trying to do something positive or make a change and we keep feeling this shame because one day we haven't done it right, the more the negative thing is going to grow.

Rosie Turner:

So as soon as we can let go of shame in that moment and be like, right, okay, it's just a day I've got to change stuff that's such a healthier way to view it.

Rosie Turner:

Especially if you've got an addictive personality and it's something unhealthy that you're trying to overcome.

Rosie Turner:

And I always say that it's the shame that actually keeps dragging us back.

Rosie Turner:

It's that moment when, oh, I've done two weeks of great exercise, but now I've messed it up for that day and now I hate myself because, you know, I'm never gonna do it.

Rosie Turner:

That is like key if you can try and notice what words are coming up in those moments.

Rosie Turner:

Again, having a deeper why behind why you want to exercise is the way to overcome those days too.

Rosie Turner:

Why is that important?

Rosie Turner:

Why is it important to you?

Rosie Turner:

Who do you become by having a healthier routine or having movement in your life?

Rosie Turner:

Because if you can discover that, then on the days it feels a bit more difficult, you know why you're doing it.

Rosie Turner:

It's not just to have, you know, surface level stuff like, I just want a six back.

Rosie Turner:

Usually most people, when you dig deeper, there is a much deeper why behind it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Yeah.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So tell me a little bit about you and your coaching and I guess what, you know, first of all, I love the name ADHD Untangled because like, you Say it's.

Kate Moore Youssef:

There's so much entanglement in our brain, and we just want.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So many of us just want a bit of clarity.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We just want to be able to kind of move through life without having so many things going on and to actually also understand our brains so we can, you know, work with it.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So tell me who you know, who's your typical client and how you work with them.

Rosie Turner:

It's so funny that you asked me this this week because everyone's been asking me to get clear on my niche and what I do, and I'm like, I don't know who my niche is because I've got so many different types of clients with so many different transformations.

Rosie Turner:

But ultimately, what I've done, when I've dug deeper this week and done all this work is, you know, my.

Rosie Turner:

My big passion when I started out was like, right, I want to be an ADHD coach.

Rosie Turner:

I don't even know if that exists.

Rosie Turner:

Trained, and then come out of that saying, right?

Rosie Turner:

After everything I'd listened to, and especially Dr.

Rosie Turner:

Ned Hallowell, I was like, we, you know, use our struggle, don't let it go to waste, and rewrite that story into a story of strength.

Rosie Turner:

Because I'm basic.

Rosie Turner:

What I love doing is coaching people and getting them to realize that it's in those moments of struggle.

Rosie Turner:

And because usually as late diagnosed ADHDers, we tend to have faced quite a lot of struggle or setbacks and, you know, perceived mistakes we've had learned a hell of a lot.

Rosie Turner:

And that is strength, right?

Rosie Turner:

You don't learn that in.

Rosie Turner:

When times are good and you're feeling great about yourself and things are moving the way you want them to, you learn those in times of struggle.

Rosie Turner:

So what I love to do and I get so excited in doing is once people have reframed it and I do a lot of reframing with my clients and looking, you know, they go, oh, I'm useless at this.

Rosie Turner:

And I've always done this.

Rosie Turner:

Well, what's the learning?

Rosie Turner:

You know, what have you learned from that?

Rosie Turner:

And that is their strength.

Rosie Turner:

That's their gifts, right?

Rosie Turner:

That's that.

Rosie Turner:

Whether it's like.

Rosie Turner:

What's the word?

Rosie Turner:

Resilience, always of all my clients, or justice, sensitivity, all these things, you know, they learn, they've built so much strength from these struggles and getting them then to discover that and use that to step forward with authentic action and get.

Rosie Turner:

Move closer towards their goals.

Rosie Turner:

So ultimately, what I'm doing is getting aid, get them.

Rosie Turner:

Get my clients to use ADHD awareness, their awareness of their ADHD to as a starting point to move closer to a life that they want to live or a goal they want to achieve, but not by changing who they are anymore, because that's what we've done for years.

Rosie Turner:

You know, we've tried to reach our goals by being someone else, but actually by being more of who it is they really are.

Rosie Turner:

And the things that have happened in coaching.

Rosie Turner:

I've had two people currently who have left jobs they've been in, one was 10 years, one was 15.

Rosie Turner:

They've just both left their jobs, become ADHD coaches and one of them a project manager.

Rosie Turner:

Starting on these new career paths.

Rosie Turner:

I had someone come to me who always chose toxic relationships.

Rosie Turner:

She's now four months into dating a guy that she's never dated anyone like this before and she's text me and she's like, this is the first time.

Rosie Turner:

Because we coached her all the way through the dating process, getting clear on her values, getting clear on what is she wanted.

Rosie Turner:

And now she's, you know, dating someone that's really bringing to her life instead of taking away.

Rosie Turner:

And a lot of people that I would say that had similar backgrounds to me in terms of extreme living and they're just trying now to find that happiness, I suppose, and that balance within them.

Rosie Turner:

And I think a lot of the pain from my clients that comes, it comes down to they haven't been living authentically to who they are and they used my coaching as a chance to discover what that is.

Rosie Turner:

Because we don't know until we get asked the right questions.

Rosie Turner:

Who am I and what is it that I want from life?

Rosie Turner:

Because I have no idea, as most of them come in and say to me, you know, I don't know what I want.

Rosie Turner:

I know it's something else, but I don't know where to start.

Kate Moore Youssef:

So tell me how if people, you know, are listening right now and they go, yes, Rosie, sounds amazing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Are you taking on new clients?

Kate Moore Youssef:

How can people work with you?

Rosie Turner:

So I was just doing one to ones and I've got, I think availability from July now, but because I wanted to offer something that was more collaborative, more affordable because I know how expensive that, you know, coaching can be.

Rosie Turner:

And something that incorporated the movement side of things I've created and it should be launched by the time this goes live, something called the ADHD movement, which is going to be my first group coaching or way of group coaching where it's going to incorporate everything I do within my one to one coaching.

Rosie Turner:

So I have group coaching every week, but we'll also have exercise classes.

Rosie Turner:

So either led by me or I want to start bringing in some like ADHD trained or lived experienced instructors to so they get a mix of, you know, exercise and movement.

Rosie Turner:

We'll send monthly meditations, ADHD meditations and even if I'd love you to do one, if you wanted to do one.

Rosie Turner:

And, and also we're going to do body doubling.

Rosie Turner:

So what we'll do is have the coaching, have a body doubling session later in the week so they could get their actions done if they haven't already and get their body moving.

Rosie Turner:

So I'm going to try and incorporate everything that I use and give it to people in a collaborative way and get them to connect together.

Rosie Turner:

Right.

Rosie Turner:

So find, move towards your tribe, I keep saying.

Rosie Turner:

So yeah, so that's launching very soon and it's going to be an ongoing thing.

Rosie Turner:

I'm trialing it out so it'll be trial and error and see how it goes and.

Rosie Turner:

But yeah, sounds amazing.

Rosie Turner:

And I'm also going to be teaching a live yoga class actually in Manchester and London at the Happy Place Festival called Untangling ADHD on the Mat.

Rosie Turner:

So if you want to try ADHD yoga class, you can come there.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Amazing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Well, make sure you give me all the links.

Kate Moore Youssef:

We'll put it in the show notes.

Kate Moore Youssef:

But you can find Rosie on Instagram.

Rosie Turner:

You've got what's the website called, untangledco.com amazing.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'll make sure it's there.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Rosie, thank you so much for your time and all.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Thank you insights and I'm sure we'll speak very soon.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.

Kate Moore Youssef:

If you did and it resonated with you, I would absolutely, absolutely love it if you could share on your platforms or maybe leave a review and a rating wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Kate Moore Youssef:

And please do check out my website, ADHD womenswellbeing.co.uk for lots of free resources and paid for workshops.

Kate Moore Youssef:

I'm uploading new things all the time and I would absolutely love to see you there.

Kate Moore Youssef:

Take care and see you for the next episode.

Show artwork for ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast

About the Podcast

ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast
Newly diagnosed with ADHD or curious about your own neurodivergence? Join me for empowering mindset, wellbeing and lifestyle conversations to help you understand your ADHD brain and nervous system better and finally thrive at life.
Are you struggling with the challenges of life as a woman with ADHD? Perhaps you need support with your mental and physical wellbeing, so you can feel calmer, happier and more balanced? Perhaps you’re newly diagnosed with ADHD – or just ADHD curious – and don’t know where to turn for support. Or perhaps you’re wondering how neurodivergence impacts your hormones or relationships?

If so, The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast is for you. This award-winning podcast is hosted by Kate Moryoussef, an ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach, author, EFT practitioner, mum of four, and late-in-life diagnosed with ADHD herself.

Each week, thousands of women just like you tune in to hear Kate chat with top ADHD experts, thought leaders, professionals and authors. Their powerful insights will help you harness your health and enhance your life as a woman with ADHD.

From tips on nutrition, sleep and motivation to guidance on regulating your nervous system, dealing with anxiety and living a calmer and more balanced life, you’ll find it all here.

The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast will help you live alongside your ADHD with more awareness, self-compassion and acceptance. It’s time to put an end to self-criticism, judgement and blame – and get ready to live a kinder and more authentic life.

“Mindblowing guests!” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Brilliant and so life-affirming” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“So, so grateful for this!” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“Obsessed with this pod on ADHD!” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

PRE-ORDER NOW! Kate's new book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit! https://www.dk.com/uk/book/9780241774885-the-adhd-womens-wellbeing-toolkit/
In The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit, coach and podcaster, Kate Moryoussef shares the psychology and science behind the challenges faced by women with ADHD and lays out a roadmap for you to uncover your authentic self.

With practical lifestyle tools on how to manage mental, emotional, physical, and hormonal burnout and lean into your unique strengths to create more energy, joy, and creativity, this book will help you (re)learn to not only live with this brain difference but also thrive with it.
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About your host

Profile picture for Kate Moryoussef

Kate Moryoussef

Host of the award-nominated ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, wellbeing and lifestyle coach, and EFT practitioner guiding and supporting late-diagnosed (or curious!) ADHD women.
www.adhdwomenswellbeing.co.uk